Married Vanilla........

[ElectricBadger]

Your husband has chosen not to partake of an aspect of your life. I completely respect that, and I see you do too. But he decides for himself, not for you. I'm 28; I've been with my wife 10 years, married 6. I can assure you that if you find the situation difficult to bear at 20, in another few years you'll be clawing eyes out.

Do not accept a bad situation. That is not what marraige means, and if that is how you treat it, it will be poisoned. Work to find a compromise you can both live with -- that is what makes long term relationships work.

Just like a discussion you'd have with someone in the scene, you need to find out what your husband's limits are. He doesn't like you fucking other men...well, even that's a broad subject (would it be different if he were there, but not topping you (your master topping you, or you acting per orders)? What if the top were a woman -- and would that work for you? What if there were no sex -- you speak of a 24/7 relationship, but realistically 90% of that would be non-sexual anyways. Chores/rules/restrictions/bondage/punishments? What about activities that don't involve "sex" such as spankings, whippings, or other forms of non-sticky interaction?

Niether of you should approach things from an absolutist position. Find what you can deal with and where that intersects. COMPROMISE!

[Psynymph]

"non sticky interaction" i like that phrase! hehe

yes well some sort of compromise is going to have to be found......he's dominant in almost every other aspect of the relationship....in a aggervating way. i thirve off of punishment, attention, and rewards...i'm a brat. i can be absolutely perfect and i like to be......but not just the absolutle hell of it and without any sort of appreciation or gratification in return. when we tried the D/s thing he was all about chores and rules......but then he couldn't satisfy my painslut needs....which made it impossible to get chores done. if i didn't fold all the laundry he would just tell me i wasn't trying hard enough as opposed to actually punishing me.....

*sigh* maybe i'm all wrong.

i realize i can't stifle my desires anymore than igniting some that arent there for my husband.....but i mean, we're married. if we still can't come to a compromise about this, does that mean divorce? because he does love me uncondtionally, i have no doubt about that. but we view relationships differently. i fully believe you can love more than one person. i also have the ability to completely emotionally detach myself from sex and those involved. he doesnt.

*growl* someone kidnap me and shove me in a dungeon for a little while......i just wanna be spanked!