So new and so lost

[Pandora's Box]

Thanks Nikka and TG.

(Nikka)
We all dream of that magical love-at-first-sight fantasy date/meeting but we must also calculate risks and make choices. Approching a new relationship with an open mind does not mean making a blind commitment

Yes I know. And that is one thing that is tripping with my mind really badly. I'm not one of these people to get lost in fantasy when it comes to day to day dealings with people. The only imperfections thus far are his damnably busy schedule and his geographic location. Only. Heh.

(TG)
Online relationships do work. They just require your diligence and patience. Well, pretty much all relationships do.

I appreciate you saying this. It makes me feel like less of a weirdo.

(TG)
Don't worry about things too much. Realize that people have lives and, as much as you might be an important part of it, other things also affect their lives. If your partner is very busy, he will only be too happy to get back to you as soon as he can.

Yes that is very true. And I try to keep myself occupied and positive. Sometimes it's just so hard to reconcile the intensity and flow of the connection with the interuptions of life. Let alone that it is over the internet.

I don't know if I am more scared by the intangibility of the internet or the fact that I don't want this to be a fly by night affair, that I am very serious about this.

[ValKyrie]

I haven't had very good luck with on line relationships having laid my trust at the feet of too many fakes in my time.

However, I know people, many people, who were able to with stand the challenges of beginning their relationship on line and transitioning it into real time.

I wish you the best and can only suggest that you follow your heart. The rest will fall into place.



Val

[Pandora's Box]

Thanks Val.

Yeah I've heard all sorts of horror stories of people getting hurt because the picture presented was not remotely accurate. Of course it is my hope that that is not the case here.

Either way, caution is not a bad thing.

[Pandora's Box]

Thank you to all those that lended me your ear. However I wish I had good news to post. Things were going fine and dandy a week ago. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what happened, but something did.

Last Saturday night we spoke, and it was good. I sent him the journal he had me do for him. I haven't heard from him since. Despite a couple of emails and a phone call. The only thing that I can figure is that he read something in the journal that distressed him or freaked him out or something... so... well...

I guess it's over. I can't believe he didn't tell me or contact me or something... I would have never pegged him for a spineless coward. But I don't have much choice now...

So ... yeah. I guess that's that.

[slavelucy]

Thank you to all those that lended me your ear. However I wish I had good news to post. Things were going fine and dandy a week ago. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what happened, but something did.

Last Saturday night we spoke, and it was good. I sent him the journal he had me do for him. I haven't heard from him since. Despite a couple of emails and a phone call. The only thing that I can figure is that he read something in the journal that distressed him or freaked him out or something... so... well...

I guess it's over. I can't believe he didn't tell me or contact me or something... I would have never pegged him for a spineless coward. But I don't have much choice now...

So ... yeah. I guess that's that.

i'm really sorry to hear that Pandora, his behaviour is very poor and it must be very disappointing. i suppose it's possible that something has occurred in his life that is preventing him from contacting you, but i admit it is unlikely that he couldn't have managed a quick email/call. Try not to let it put you off though, put it down to experience and keep smiling, you have a lot to offer.

lucy x

[Pandora's Box]

Thanks Lucy

However... this was big. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I don't know how quickly I'll be able to get back on the horse this time.

He had no right to induce these thoughts and feelings within me if he was going to walk away without a word.

I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel abandoned. I look at the poems and other things he sent me and can't believe what the reality is in front of me. Nothing matches up and nothing makes sense. My intuitions are confused. And so am I.

[slavelucy]

Thanks Lucy

However... this was big. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I don't know how quickly I'll be able to get back on the horse this time.

He had no right to induce these thoughts and feelings within me if he was going to walk away without a word.

I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel abandoned. I look at the poems and other things he sent me and can't believe what the reality is in front of me. Nothing matches up and nothing makes sense. My intuitions are confused. And so am I.

Oh, Pandora..yes, it is very upsetting and disappointing to realise that someone you had feelings for and put a lot of yourself into (emotionally and otherwise) possibly wasn't the person you believed them to be, and, if has so readily let you down then, by definition, he wasn't the person you thought he was. Hence, i can more than understand how hurt you must be and that feeling of 'being kicked in the gut', you need to take some time to look after yourself, there's no need to 'get back on the horse' straight away.

One thing - you are absolutely RIGHT when you say "He had no right to induce these thoughts and feelings within me if he was going to walk away without a word...and you must really focus on that, his behaviour is thoughtless and deeply ignorant and insensitive and it is not, in anyway your fault, regardless of something you may or may not have said in that journal that put his nose out of joint.

*hugs*

lucy x