I'm the opposite of Cadence on this one. I'd rather know I'm compatible with him in vanilla areas and then worry about the BDSM. I'm a sub, and happy that way. I fell in love with my Master before I had any idea he was a Dom. Yeah it worked out, but I would love him either way. BDSM is a big part of our lives, but it's not the only part. I need to know that even if the BDSM part of us was gone, I'd still be madly in love with my best friend. Nothing will ever come before that.