Well, when you say that you don't want to be asked why you like the porn because you know why (porn is perfect), of course that's true. But it's also safe, and impersonal, and you're in control. So maybe the question the books are asking isn't, what makes the porn attractive to you? Maybe the question the books are asking is, what is it about YOU that makes you drawn more to porn than to people. And that's only peripherally because porn is perfect.

I don't think the problem is that you're viewing too much porn, necessarily. If there's something that causes you to be drawn to the porn rather than to a real relationship, I think that thing will be there no matter what, or how much, you're watching. I think that once you ARE able to be drawn to a real relationship, either you'll be less interested in porn or it just won't be a problem.

So maybe you should think about going back to what those books were asking. Why is porn perfect for you? What is it about YOU that causes you to be drawn to it, more than to an imperfect, real man?