New to the game, and lost in th grandoise

[sho-me-sumthn_19]

oka this isnt really easy for me being as im nt usually th kind o guy to express myself to new people, bt seein as u r all more knowledgeable, i think its best. i am new to th BDSM worl, outside of books and reading the online stories posted. i have no idea where to start. i wudnt kno th first thing about training let alone finding a suitable sub, or if i wud even b a sufficient dom. Its a bit overwhelming to me, i wudnt want to b too cruel to sumeone that couldnt handle it. And i know that there are a good few that enjoy extremely rough play. im a very playful person, wud i have to change to accomidate to the sub if or when i find her

Almost Clueless

[fetishdj]

HI. Best place to start is to look in your local area for a munch. These are gatherings of kinksters in a non-scene setting - i.e. a pub, restaurant, cafe etc. You meet up, chat, get to know each other, maybe make connections but you do not play and there is usually a strict dress code (no kinky stuff). There is generally an official greeter assigned to these whose job it is to make sure that new people are introduced properly into the group. Once you make those connections you can delve deeper into your local scene.

[denuseri]

You can also read and reaserch not only online but at your local bookstore.

[Jennifer Williams]

A lot of people also are more comfortable starting off with an online relationship. There is a personals section here you can post in (or read) to try to find someone who's looking for an online-only experience. That sometimes is a good way to learn for people who are unsure of themselves, though it can only teach you so much, but it's a start.