You've done the right thing julise, if a guy hasn't got it in him, most times he can't be turned fully. I too could have PM messaged this but maybe some others will find it informative as with nikka's post

My wife has always been like you, she cries out for the punishment to stop but wishes it to continue in reality, the cries for mercy are part of the game. She's the slave being punished and dominated, no punishment if she's not pleading for mercy is it.

She has never used the safeword, I worry sometimes she'd allow herself to be seriously hurt before she did.

For this reason I didn't consider myself to be competent enough to feed her fantasies while maintaining the correct level of violence and or restraint for her pleasure and safety.

I love her deeply and wish to please as well as dominate her, a good slave master considers the feelings of the slave as well as his/her own urges and lusts. With the safeword mechanism in place the slave is ultimately the boss after all.

The outcome of our little problem with me not being able or willing to perform the task properly is that Lorri now goes to a professional for her big kinky sessions, I just give her the mild beatings for being a naughty girl.

We found a couple who have all the facilities and all the correct equipment, the guy is an expert torture master and his wife is an expert assistant, she's also a qualified hospital nurse.

I drop Lorri off at their house and leave her with them for a couple of hours then pick her up and take her home after her treatment, it works out just fine for us, maybe this is something to consider for other folks who can't seem to gel together in the extreme punishment stakes.

Lorri and I love each other, but we have slightly differing needs, we felt it important for our security to ensure our needs were fulfilled with little real risk. We felt that if we didn't get her what she needed, she may go looking for it elsewhere and put herself in danger, this way it's all controlled.

There are implications with all this of course, don't attempt it if you aren't truly liberated or the old idiot possesive jealousy will destroy you both. We don't suffer that jealousy stuff, I know when Lorri's at her slave masters, the guy and his wife are going to have full on sex with her during the kinky session, part of Lorri's fantasy is to be raped during her beating and torture, it turns me on more than worries me the thought of her being screwed by someone else. You have to be prepared for this side of it as well.

Some of you may want to chat with partner about this kind of possibilty, but as I say, make sure you and they can really handle it if you do.

pops.............