For me, love and sex are both optional. It's about seeing to the needs and desires of a Domme while still playing with ideas that I find exciting.

I've been part of the serving staff at parties, for instance. There was very little sexual about it, other than perhaps my attire. *blush* However, it fulfilled my desires by allowing me to perform for others and offer a valuable service. It's wasn't erotic per say (again, beyond the manner in which I was dressed and how my embarrassment over that affected how wet I became throughout the evening) but as I carefully maintained posture, refilled drinks, and did other simple duties exactly as my Domme had instructed I was quite sated.

There was no love. I'd only known the Domme for a few weeks. There was no sex directly involved or the promise of it after.

Trust, on the other hand, I find to be imperative. I'll usually play with someone in public or amidst a chose audience a few times before I decide I want to enter a more personal D/s relationship with them. I have to trust someone before even thinking of calling her Mistress.

In my own experiences, sex and love have greatly enhanced (and often equally confounded) the D/s relationships I've had. I prefer a Domme who is very strict in receiving what she wants, punishes by SM means and offers sexual rewards. Sometimes either or both of us fall in love. But sex and love aren't pivotal for me.