In response to the original post:

Human behavior is remarkably complex due to the remarkable complexity of our brains. An activity that the rest of the animal world treats without a second thought takes on a whole new set of implications for us because of our great big brains.

It is not a subject easily discussed in a reply to a post; but basically because of the complexities of modern life coupled with our complex brain structure and our ever present "primitive" drives it can be very difficult to have a fulfilling sex life without compartmentalizing our sexuality from the rest of our day to day lives.

This is particularly true with fetish type lifestyles where the roles played by each participant are sometimes at odds with the roles in day to day life. This is also just as true in normal relationships. Both men and women want to have a deep loving relationship with their partner, but romantic love and extremely exciting sex can at times be at odds with one another which is why it is important for couples to acknowledge the need to have a dual relationship to express both the higher "big brain" ideas of love and the "smaller brain" ideas of purely animal sexuality. A perfect example of this that most people have heard about or experienced first hand is if you have a certain "kinky thing" you are interested in, but could never bring it up with your significant other because of your feelings for them. This is why it is important to realize in a relationship we all play different roles and it is important to understand when and how to separate them.

If you would like to discuss this topic more send me an email or pm. I am considering the topic as a theme for a research paper and would enjoy the discourse.

Drake.