It took me a while to get involved in this one (not that I did not follow it ) just because it seems that I usually have waaaayyy different views on sex and relationship in general, from other people.

I am not sure where – but at some point I found some definitions about what kinds of submissives there are; and the one I can identify most comfortably with would be “sexual submissive” which means that my submissiveness exists only in bedroom (when and if ).

So, that would make sex as a primary and the utter most important part of my BDSM relationship – but….

In my humble opinion, sex is an activity, and a category of a relationship, on its own. In order to have sex – I do not think 2 people (or more *grin*) should necessary be in a relationship, or in love.

As far as BDSM relationship – the only necessary ingreedient (again IMHO) is trust.

Now – if we are talking a long-term relationship (like marriage) there needs to be a right amount of love, attraction, trust, tolerance, understanding and individuality to make it work.

I believe that there is to many people out there, all with different tastes, needs and expectations, for any of us to be able to give “one-for-all” definition of what “real” relationship is. It depends on people involved in it.

For some (like me) sex is the BDSM arena, for other (FF – I think) it is every day mundane activities that help her feel happy in her servitude.

In response to the topic of this thread: “The place of sex in a D/s-bdsm relationship” my answer would be : what ever feels right and makes all parties involved happy and fulfilled.

That would be my 2 cents worth