Its interesting to not the differences in thinking between the male and female forum members. I believe it was a comment I made in another thread that helped inspire this one so I'll ad my perspective (for what its worth)

I wasn't specific when I said that BDSM was about sex. When I said that I didn't neccessarily mean that I have to have my cock in her mouth while I'm whipping her. Even when sex is not directly involved there is always (at least for us) a sexual overtone to it. Sometimes its as subtle as going out to a nice restaurant for dinner with her wearing a short dress and no panties because I told her to. Its just the two of us knowing the situation among so many who don't that creates that air of sexual tension that makes the meal more exciting. Or talking to her while she's at work knowing that her pussy is shaved because I have told her to keep it that way.

However when we get serious, sex is always a part for both of us. If I were to chain her to the bed and just leave her there...she would not only NOT be turned on or happy about it, but would probably be seriously annoyed with me for doing it.

You could write a lot on this subject (and some of you have) but I guess in a nutshell...

Yeah, sex is a definate part for me. Even if it's only in the mind, its still always there.