A question for the female subs???

[lucyboy]

Wow interesting replies and very insightful. I like the fantasy about being made to clean another girls desk even though it's not sexual it's a nice concept.

And even though in bdsm terms to say I'm only a sub in bed is an insult I don't think of it as such as I am just that. My submission can reach to domestic duties and other things but I would have to be aroused for it to feel right.

Just being bossed around when I'm trying to get on with my day and there has been no effort to get me aroused would be annoying. I'm very assertive when I'm not horny so you have hit the nail square on. I'm sexually submissive and proud.

As for finding a sexually dominant vanilla women, well that is very difficult once you leave the realm of kink that is the bdsm world the chances of finding what I'm looking for shrinks.

It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack blind folded with one arm tied behind my back.

And think about all the relationships I would have to have with women who just aren't interested in my sexuality. I couldn't tell them outright because that would be to farout for them to take in but if I started a relationship without telling them it would feel dishonest on my part and the vanilla dating dynamics make me feel awkward so they would only end up feeling rejected. So it's a bit of a catch 22.

If Dommes and the bdsm world are not the place I'm gonna find someone then I will end up having some very dishonest dysfunctional vanilla relationships...Oi whats a man to do!!

At least on the bdsm scene people are openly kinky, if I was to tell most vanilla women that I'm sub they would just walk away and think pervert, it is never a shock on the bdsm scene even if I'm seen as irrelevant by most Dommes it's not shocking.

And thankyou very much Louise, it seems you understand my situation. It's funny how dressing up has made people except me more. It gives me a sparkle of hope.

By the way I'm in Thailand and this keyboard is driving me crazy too!!!!

As for most vanilla women being essentially sub I think it is submission in a vanilla way as in they don't want to be whipped, made to do the dishes or peed on but they still wanna be helpless.

[Eponine]

And even though in bdsm terms to say I'm only a sub in bed is an insult I don't think of it as such as I am just that. My submission can reach to domestic duties and other things but I would have to be aroused for it to feel right.

Didn't mean to insult you! certainly not! And I do understand, I would find it insulting when someone called me not truly submissive- it's like they don't really know me... So, I'm sorry... but I missed the part about your liking anything other than sexual submission. Ok. Issue clarified. Moving on...

It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack blind folded with one arm tied behind my back.

True.... though I think finding the right person even within this realm was/ is like finding a needle in a haystack anyway... I don't know... it was just a thought... because I do feel for you too, and really want to be helpful... but sorry I failed!

I'm glad he crossdressing is working for you- you never know what people could get into-
for example, one time I cybered (a long time ago) with a M CD topping me... it was very interesting.. I didn't care, all I wanted/ needed was the domination... but my point is- it's all out there... good luck, Lucyboy.

As for most vanilla women being essentially sub I think it is submission in a vanilla way as in they don't want to be whipped, made to do the dishes or peed on but they still wanna be helpless.

You're right. You answered your own question here.

[cadence]

Hey lucyboy, how is Thailand? I am supposedly moving there in about five years.

My fantasies involved more than just being whisked away by a tall dark handsome man, and being helplessly ravaged while staring at mirrors on the cieling, during a thunderstorm.
My fantasies were in place before I even knew about BDSM, Master/slave, or the paraphanelia that went with it.
Maybe vanilla women don't really divulge thier secret innermost fantasies, for fear of being lableed something bad, which is what happened to me.

I still at times feel uncomfortable with my fantasies, but they are there and they get me very excited and hot.

I love the thought of being overpowered and controlled, I love the thought of being pulled around by my hair, to be spit on, slapped, pinched and bitten. I love to be forced to deep throat.
Add in the name calling and you have the perfect fantasy. With name calling I throw all rules out the window.

I find sex to be rather boring, and I would rather throw in a mix of pain and humliation to make it something that is enjoyable to me.