Tazkill,
I know your plight. I so badly wanted to serve my husband as my Master. Only, same as you, he really has no desire to have me serve him. Serving him on a daily basis without him really knowing what you are doing is a good idea. I tried that too, only after a while, the service became hollow. He didn't appreciate my service to him and that saddened me greatly.
I do have a wonderful Sir and, recently, acquired a wonderful Daddy. These two men have helped me greatly in learning more of my submissive side. They have also become my dearest friends.
What to do? I don't really know. I tried that but my servitude became more and more hollow when it wasn't appreciated. As a result I had decided to divorce my husband and seek a r/l f/t Master.
Good luck to you
subwife