i have not been in the lifestyle for years as some have, but i do know it is what you feel and feel comfortable enough with. i know i am submissive, but there are times that i have "slave" tendencies. No matter what the term/label/name one prefers to take, it is what you feel comfortable with. if i were to say what term of endearment i prefer, i would have to agree with Ruby, i like being called pet as well.