Lost and confused?

[In2kink]

1.) If I allow someone to do something to me or for me to fulfill my desires does that mean that I am submitting?

Certain things push buttons for each of us. Certain activities produce meaningful feelings of submission for submissives. So if you allow someone to do something to you that produce meaningful submissive feelings then yes, that is submitting. Consent is an over arching principle in BDSM, D/s relationships.

2.)what is it like to be a Dom(me)/ sub and what do they get out of it?

I assume that you are asking what does the Dom(me) get out of the interaction. I won’t presume to answer for all dominants because we are all different and unique. For me I enjoy the power exchange, another human being willing giving over to me her freedom of choice in certain areas of her life and behavior. I also find mentoring someone, helping them discover new things about the lifestyle and about themselves rewarding.

3.)Where is the line between Domme/ sub?

The submissive exchanges power with the Dom(me) and in return ideally the Dom(me) provides experiences which allow the submissive to feel controlled and to have submissively significant emotional experiences

4.)What are the characteristics of being a Dom(me)/ sub?

While there may be similarities between dominants and similarities between submissives, given that we are all unique individuals with personal and special perceived needs and wants, it would be difficult to provide a list of characteristics. I think such would be at best a generalization.

5.) How do you know if someone is trust worthy to explore these with?

There is really no difference between BDSM relationships and relationships in general where it comes to the issue of trust and trust building. Trust is a process by which a foundation is laid and then built upon. I think you must enter into a dialogue with a person you are considering and ask questions to get an idea of where they are coming from to see if there seems a possibility they might be right for you. If it seems so, then you start slowly with them and explore, learning as you go whether they seem to genuinely care for you and will allow you to progress at a comfortable pace. Always trust your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable then you should pay attention to it.