I have been interested in BDSM now for a year and met a sub recently that didn't workout. I've also been to my first play party, tho only to socialise (I have found I am far too new to participate in a lot of activities safely just yet).

Yahoo groups is another place to look as some communities have online groups. Most places that advertise that there free mean there only free to join and there's no way to contact people without paying a monthly fee.

It takes time to build up trust in someone that's interested in you to a point that they want to meet you. Making sure your submissive will be doing so in a safe place as well and informing her of precautions (regardless of her experience)

Workshops on subjects you are interested in can also be helpful as well as BDSM clubs in your area (or as close as you can).

My One is out there some where. In the meantime I fill my spare time with learning and making toys that can be used for our fun.