Hm, really was a silly question wasn't it?

...You can't find someone you trust to experiment a little with you?
Unfortunately no, not yet.
I am a recovering amnesiac. Relearning how to live on my own and whatnot, I haven't managed to make any really close friends since I've started over. I got a clean slate so to speak, but as my attention has been occupied, no I don't know anyone else that I would feel comfortable exploring with. Therapy took up a lot of time, and I had moved shortly before that, so I didn't have a lot of friends prior to my accident. Most of the people I know now are either medical professionals, or co-workers at my new job. That's why I want to figure out what I want before I bring anyone else on board.

I could get online and find somebody to play with, but I don't relish the idea of doing anything for someone else just because they call themselves a master. If I'm going to do anything for anyone else's pleasure it'll be becuz they made me want to.
Similarly I can't imagine wanting to order someone to do something if I'm not going to be there to enjoy my efforts. Besides, I've already admitted I'm new here so it's unlikely anyone would want to take any orders I give, assuming that is what I decided would be best for me.
(Wow, that sounds conceited doesn't it? But that's the way I feel about it.)

I know I've given myself a huge limitation to start out with, but I want to give myself something to work with, and learn from while I am looking in real life. I know I can probably camp out on this site (and I probably will but I would also like to try to find some ways to experiment on my own while I read about other experiences, and learn from what everyone else is doing. Does that make sense?