Well some people really only ever like to do BDSM in the bedroom and aren't really 'lifestylers' ... meaning that they don't do D/s in other parts of their lives, it's just a bedroom kink.

I do suggest talking to him about how you want his dominance to spread to other parts of your life such as restrictions etc. I find that this is the simplest and easiest way to keep a D/s undercurrent in your life as a whole.

Like I had a 'no panties except on cycle days' restriction for months. Maybe a 'you must wear a buttplug while cooking dinner' or 'you must wear a sleeveless top when we go to dinner together' ... really anything that tickles his fancy (or yours) as long as you both agree to it.

I know topping from the bottom sucks a lot and it sounds like you really have to lay out the expectations you both have for this relationship. It may be that he doesn't want to control other parts of your life at all and doesn't want to think about D/s while not in the bedroom.