Wanderlust

[Petite esclave]

Musings of the day...not an autobiography...or is it..?



A constant hunger...an ache....a wanting.....a craving....all of these illustrate what I feel to a certain extent.

It sounds so dramatic, doesn't it? Dramatic to me, as I am the one going through it. Me...a wife, doting mother, a 41 year old woman...simply past this kind of thing.

There are a hundred men on the website that I could have, any one of them would cream their pants if I would give them the time of day. The only man whose affection I want, doesn't want me. A cruel twist of fate.

He was mine for awhile. I had his full attention. He pursued me...ravished me...ruined me.

The thing about it that bites is that I wasn't looking for anyone...was basically content and happy with what I had. The website was a game, something to pass the hours of the day. Frivolous. I didn't want this. I didn't want to feel the way I do now...pathetic and strung out.

I am an intelligent woman, realistic and grounded. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be addicted to a man who I met online, I would have told you that you were insane.

How could this happen to me? Ahhh, but it did happen. It crept up on me, like a devilish little kitten to a play toy. Except, I was the play toy....and I was captured, feeling confused, helpless and in his thrall.

But I am ahead of myself...let me back up and tell you how it all began...

[lonerider]

Please, petite, tell me how it all began... I long to read your story... please