M/s vs. Vanilla relationships?

[voxelectronica]

I would love to sit here and echo what most have said but i can not. If vanilla relationships were equally as strong or connected as M/s relationship then why do i always try to make vanilla relationships M/s relationships? Why do i always pick people who would seem open to the idea of being either Top or bottom and then coaching them into that role? Why am i constantly disappointed and filled with such a strong longing?

I'm happy serving or being served. I feel MORE for some random sub i fuck. I feel MORE for that guy who figured out my secret and got demanding. Even if it's just one night, even if it's just a fling. I feel more for them than i do for any vanilla relationship. If anyone has heard the Yeah Yeah Yeah's song "Maps"... it feels like that song for me. "Lay off;
Don’t stress;
Well, my kind's,your kind...

Wait! They don’t love you like I love you"

[jesperi]

I would love to sit here and echo what most have said but i can not. If vanilla relationships were equally as strong or connected as M/s relationship then why do i always try to make vanilla relationships M/s relationships? Why do i always pick people who would seem open to the idea of being either Top or bottom and then coaching them into that role? Why am i constantly disappointed and filled with such a strong longing?

I'm happy serving or being served. I feel MORE for some random sub i fuck. I feel MORE for that guy who figured out my secret and got demanding. Even if it's just one night, even if it's just a fling. I feel more for them than i do for any vanilla relationship. If anyone has heard the Yeah Yeah Yeah's song "Maps"... it feels like that song for me. "Lay off;
Don’t stress;
Well, my kind's,your kind...

Wait! They don’t love you like I love you"

While that works for you and you should be quite pleased that it does, I don't believe that it can then be said as a blanket statement that M/s relationships are deeper or more meaningful than Vanilla relationships. It just means that you can't find that deep and meaningful connection you are looking for in such a vanilla context... and that's perfectly fine.

The exact same traits that make an M/s relationship deep and meaningful can also be present in a completely vanilla relationship. All the trust and communication that should exist in a health M/s relationship can also be completely present in a relationship that isn't. The same foundations that make any relationship solid and secure (things like trust, honesty, communication) should be present in both. I don't think there is anything inherent in one or the other.

I think it just boils down to different things work for different people.

-Geoff