New Domme

[Jennifer Williams]

Yes, that is what I meant. True deliciousness comes when both partners have their "needs" met, and what that is depends completely on the individual. In my general experience, subs need to know that their dominant is in control, not them. The subs I have known get terribly frightened and frustrated if they believe they have any sort of control, even for a moment. So even if a dominant decides they want to do something that they know the sub likes, they need to present it in a way that still keeps all of the power of the situation in the dominant's hands. That was what I meant by "trick"- that is the hardest part of being a dominant.

I've often thought of it this way- the sub has control over whether they consent (if you take that away then it is abuse), and they have the power of their safe word if they need it to end, and everything else in between is Mine.

[Crimson{kacey}]

I've often thought of it this way- the sub has control over whether they consent (if you take that away then it is abuse), and they have the power of their safe word if they need it to end, and everything else in between is Mine. [/QUOTE]



I said almost that exact thing in a different discussion about limits and choices.

[chuck]

So even if a dominant decides they want to do something that they know the sub likes, they need to present it in a way that still keeps all of the power of the situation in the dominant's hands. That was what I meant by "trick"- that is the hardest part of being a dominant.

I can understand that a dominant can initiate an action that the sub enjoys and still retain their dominance. I was questioning the need for the dominant to provide "the illusion that it is really what You [the dominant] want and what You crave."(emphasis mine)